When I first got the engine running on my 1930 Model A Ford Sport Coupe I noticed that there was an imperfect seal between the engine block and the exhaust manifold. I could see little puffs of smoke coming out. If you’re not a car person, the exhaust manifold is a cast-iron branching tube that funnels the exhaust out of the engine and into the exhaust pipe. I mentioned the leak to my friend Devin, and he was the one who said the famous last words this time, “It’s easy to replace that gasket. You don’t even have to take the manifold all the way off to do it.”

So I bought a new gasket, loosened the nuts on the manifold, slid out the old gasket, and slid in the new one. Easy. Except that it didn’t fix the problem.

I mentioned it to the guys at one of the meetings of the 3 Rivers Region Model A Ford Restorer’s Club and was told that I might have to have my manifold resurfaced. Apparently this is a common problem with Model A Ford manifolds. After a while the flat surfaces that are supposed to be perfectly flush with the side of the engine block get warped and no longer make a good seal. Fortunately Keith Waltower is in our club, and he is a very experienced mechanic of old cars. He told me of a NAPA shop down in Belle Vernon PA that had a giant belt sander that could do the resurfacing more quickly, easily, and cheaper than taking it to a machine shop. Apparently a lot of the cost of getting a part machined is in the set-up, and with a giant belt sander there would be no set-up.

I was trying to get the car ready to drive for a 4th of July parade in Cannonsburg with the Model A club in a couple of days, so I was in a bit of a hurry to get the job done. The place that Keith mentioned was about a 45 minute drive from my house, so I made a few calls to see if I could get the resurfacing done somewhere a little closer to home. Most places couldn’t do it soon enough, and they wanted about $80. So off I went to Belle Vernon with my exhaust manifold. In hind-sight I now know that this is where I made a critical mistake. You may even know what it is if you’re a Model A person, and we’ll get back to it later.

By the way, you do have to take the manifold off to replace the gasket. I discovered that you can’t really get the surfaces clean if you don’t. When I took my manifold off there were big gobs of the old gasket still on there that would have messed up the seal even if the surfaces had been flat. Both surfaces really have to be clean and free of rust.

The drive to Belle Vernon was easy, and it literally took about two minutes for my exhaust manifold to be finished. I was shocked. But the surprises kept on coming. It only cost $27.83! That’s about a third of the cost of the machine shops. I was feeling pretty smug on my drive home.

I had already ordered a bunch of parts for putting my car back together. I needed new studs (basically a threaded rod) since the nuts on two of the four of them were permanently rusted on. And believe me, I put some serious effort into trying to get them off. I think the intense heat must make the rusting problem worse in this one spot, because most bolts are fine as long as you grease the threads before you put the nut on. Keith gave me a great tip to solve this problem in the future. If you get brass nuts for both the manifold studs and the clamp that connects the exhaust manifold to the exhaust pipe, they can’t rust together. Genius.

I got back to the garage, and started to put everything back together. I was feeling pretty good about it because I was fairly certain that I had all the parts I needed, and that I knew what I was doing. I was going to be able to make it to the parade. That was when I realized my mistake.

This is going to get a little technical, but stick with me; I’ll try to be as clear as possible. On the Model A, the exhaust manifold and the intake manifold are connected to each other by two bolts. The bolts are there to keep the two parts lined up because they share the same studs in order to attach to the engine block. Each part has a half-moon shape that makes up one half of each hole that goes over the stud. When the intake manifold and the exhaust manifold are mated together their respective half-moon shapes come together to make up the entire hole that goes over the stud and gets clamped down by one washer and nut and held in place on the engine block. Because the only place I had a bad seal on the manifold was on the exhaust manifold, I only took that part with me to get resurfaced. So now when I put the intake manifold back onto the exhaust manifold, the half-moons were different thicknesses (since the exhaust manifold had been ground down), and the flat surfaces were at different levels. Therefore, there was no way to get a good seal to the engine block. I should have left the two manifold parts connected so that they would be ground down to the same thickness, and would meet up properly with the engine block. Arg. Double Arg. When I realized what I had done there was much cussing. Also, I learned later that you are better off leaving the two pieces bolted together since if you take the bolts out, the bolt holes tend to strip, and then you have new problems.

I tried to figure out a solution involving stacking up more than one gasket, or grinding things down myself with hand tools. I mentioned these ideas to Keith and as he implored me to just do it the right way I could hear the pain in his voice from having dealt with half-baked repairs in the past. Of course he was right.

I had a gig in New Jersey in a couple of days, and Belle Vernon was sort of on the way, so I took the entire manifold with me. This time I got to go down into the basement machine shop and see the fabled giant belt sander, and let me tell you, it was GIANT. I handed the guy my manifold, which he actually recognized, and it seriously took him 30 seconds to grind everything flush and erase my anguish. Even better, since they had charged me the minimum labor rate of one hour last time, they didn’t charge me anything this time.

I had about three weeks on the road for gigs in the Midwest right after the NJ trip so I wasn’t able to work on the car again until yesterday. It’s just so much better when you do things right. I got the manifold back on the car, it started right up, and doesn’t seem to be leaking exhaust anymore.

Here’s another great tip from Keith Waltower: when attaching the clamp that holds the exhaust pipe to the manifold, put a jack under the muffler and jack it up so that it is held in place against the manifold while you get the clamp in place. I’m not sure that I would have thought of doing it this way, and it makes it really easy. Also, make sure that you have the taller half of the clamp facing down. I used a little high-temp sealant from the auto parts store inside the clamp too.

The last thing I did was put a heat shield on the top of the muffler. It should help keep the cabin a lot cooler. I got it from Snyder’s and it was pretty cheap. It would’ve been a little easier to put on if a) I had done it before reattaching the muffler, and b) I had not tired so hard to put it on backwards first.

I’m off to do a test drive.

Poised with my juggling-sandwiches.

Lookin’ good!

So I juggled sandwiches, grabbed snacks off the shelf with a juggler’s flair, and I even ordered a drink off the touch-screen ordering system while tossing a sandwich into the air with one hand, and holding a whole mess-o-snacks in the other. It was fun. I have to say that I was very impressed at how easy it was to order my drink. If I can do it while repeatedly tossing a sandwich into the air and catching it again with one hand while wearing a racing helmet, then I think the average Joe should be able do it under more normal circumstances. We finished the shoot with me balancing a stack of something like 10 cups and walking out the door. I tried to do it as a real balance, but the cup lids were too squishy, so we had to use gaffer’s tape to stick them together. After the juggling sequence I believe the CEO is going to bust out and do a little break-dancing (with someone else in the suit).

Things I learned while doing this video shoot:

• If you walk into a convenience store with a racing suit on, everyone will stare at you.
• I no longer care if everyone stares at me.
• Racing helmets get fogged up on the inside if you wear them for things other than driving a race car.
• Despite having a camera crew pointed at you, normal people will always think there is coffee in that giant stack of cups you are balancing.
• Some people get scared when a man in a racing helmet comes running at them while juggling three sandwiches.
• Wearing a racing suit in public makes you feel like a super-hero.

Sheetz Inc. seems like a fun company, so I hope I get to work with them again.

Three days after the giant fur wad, I brushed this pile out of my dog. I could’ve gotten more too if he hadn’t been so interested in those stupid squirrels. Also in the picture is the rake that I use to brush him.

This is from just one brushing. No trick photography or fur-fluffing here either. That wad of fur really is bigger than his head. I am astonished at how much fur came out of my dog in the course of an hour. Normally he takes several days to lose his coat, but this seems to be most of it in one go. The fur wad is from yesterday; I brushed him again tonight, and while some more came out, it is negligible in comparison.

I wasn’t sure what to do with the giant fur wad, so I put it in a bag with a note that said, “With love, from Vader” and hung it on the neighbors door handle. We’ll see if they think that is funny.

Zephyr, Wylie, and Vader

This week I’m house-sitting and dog-sitting while I’m in Milwaukee performing at the WI State Fair. I always stay with my mother-in-law for Milwaukee gigs. It’s awesome. Partly because I can bring my dog (he gets along really well with Lynn’s dog), but also because it’s so much nicer and more comfortable than staying in a hotel for 11 days. This year Lynn and my wife decided that it would be a good time to take a trip. They are off in Yellowknife Canada (WAY up there, almost to the Arctic Circle), and at the same time my sister-in-law and her family went on vacation too (without their dog). So here I am with three dogs. It’s just four guys hanging out. Not much talking going on, but there’s lots of sniffing and wrestling. It’s pretty great.

When working at the fair my hours can be pretty variable, but basically I am home a little after six or seven each evening. Monday was my first night where it was just the dogs and me. On my way home from the fair I had meant to stop at the store to pick up a couple of things. The reason to do it on the way home is so that I didn’t get the dogs all riled up with my arrival, and then immediately leave them again, thus making them more crazy. But I was already home and didn’t want to leave the dogs again, so it was time for a bachelor adventure in the car. Two of the dogs (Vader and Zephyr) are fine off leash as long as there are no bunnies around, and the third dog (Wylie) has to be on-leash all the time. I put Wylie on-leash and the four of us got in the car and went off to the store.

It was a nice, quick little adventure, and we were pulling back in to the driveway in 15 minutes. As I pulled in I saw that there was a bunny sitting within 6 inches of the edge of both the street and the driveway. I rolled Vader’s window up enough so that he wouldn’t jump out, and he gave that bunny the major “I’m gonna eat you” stink-eye. Amazingly, even with Vader leering directly overhead, the bunny didn’t move. We got to the end of the driveway at the back of the house, and forgetting about the bunny, I got out and opened the door for the dogs. Vader had not forgotten. I was reaching for Wylie so I could put the leash on him when Vader made a break for the bunny at the front of the house. My momentary distraction of trying to call Vader back meant that I missed Wylie’s collar, and then Zephyr got past me as well. Three dogs on the hunt. It was 9pm, and the street was dark so I didn’t think there would be any car traffic, but it was warm enough that the neighbors had their windows open, so I was trying to not yell too loudly to get the dogs back. Big surprise, that didn’t work.

The bunny sprinted across the street and under the neighbor’s porch. Vader and Wylie were in pursuit, and when Wylie got right up next to the neighbor’s window he let out one of his astonishingly loud, blood-curdling bark-howls. And then another. And then another. In a matter of moments Wylie’s bark-howls and my yelling had all four neighbors out of their houses. I had gotten Zephyr by the collar, and I was trying unsuccessfully to get Vader and Wylie under control. The neighbors, who I had never met before, were all very nice and helped me get Wylie on-leash. Since I only had the one leash with me, I got the other two dogs excited about running home with me, and we were off as I called a thank you and an apology to the neighbors. It was more than a little embarrassing.

I recently took a trip to Denver for a two-day gig. Despite the fact that nothing really went wrong, the portions of the trip that involved airplanes and airports were incredibly unpleasant. I drove to the Cincinnati airport, and easily found the remote parking lot. In fact, the shuttle bus was waiting for me as I closed my trunk. The parking people did a great job and were very efficient, but I was a little worried that I was going to get hassled about my carry-on hat box not qualifying as a “personal item”. I was also a little preoccupied with dealing with my new fold-up mini luggage cart that I bought in order to avoid the $25 fee for a second piece of checked luggage. Neither thing was a big deal, but they added a little stress to my life.

Check-in went smoothly, and there was no line, but I had to futz with my new cart (that I only bought to avoid airline fees), and that took a little time and added a little stress. The flight out was uneventful, but I was feeling especially crammed-in for some reason this time. There was a small touch screen in the back of the seat in front of me that allowed me to watch movies for free, and that was awesome… the high point of the flying experience for sure.

Once I got into Denver I had to find my rental car. Despite the fact that my car reservation said that I should check in at the rental car desk in baggage claim, there was no desk. I went out and waited for the shuttle, and had to wait for the second one since the first one couldn’t fit everyone on it. After getting off the shuttle and walking into the rental car office I was reminded of how crushingly sad those places can be. I intentionally didn’t go with the cheapest rental car company I could find in the hopes of avoiding exactly this scene. Everyone was unhappy. The floor was dirty, and matched the unimpressive decor. The line moved at a snail’s pace, and the cloud of black sadness hung over everyone’s heads. There was a bit of a bright spot at the table where they were giving away free hot dogs and water, but it didn’t have the power to light up the whole place. When it was my turn, I went up to the desk and tried to chat with the woman behind the counter, as I always do in a service situation, but she wanted nothing to do with me. I even cracked a lame joke in the hope of making our exchange a little less depressing.

“When I made the reservation online I asked for a big yellow school bus. I assume that won’t be a problem.” I said with a straight face.

She acknowledged my joke without smiling or laughing. As she continued to work we both stood there in silence in the thickening haze of oppressive sadness. Ordinarily, even if your joke isn’t funny, people appreciate the effort. Not this time. Maybe she had heard it a million times, but I know that I laughed at many an unfunny joke when I worked in customer service. It was an intense relief to get out of there. I can’t imagine the toll it would take on you to actually work in that kind of environment every day.

The trip home was more of the same (but this time without the awesome movie screen in the back of the seat in front of me). This flight was filled with an unusual number of very active, very loud children. Most of the time I really don’t mind kid noise. I work as an entertainer who often performs for children. However, there are times when it is not appropriate for a non-stop yell fest. One of those times is on a three and a half hour flight with 200 of your closest strangers. The father behind me had no control over his children. He would shush them, and 1-2 seconds later they would be yelling again. I know it was that long because I counted. As a result, I wore earplugs from the moment I sat down, to the moment I got off the plane. The trip to the remote parking lot was reasonably pleasant, but it did take about 45 minutes to get to my car. Once again, not a huge deal, but it all ads up.

What really drove the point home was when I finally got to sit in my own car again. I still had a six hour drive ahead of me so you wouldn’t think I would be happy to be in my car… but it was fantastic. It was quiet. There were no strangers sitting too close to me. I could sit with my legs apart if I wanted to. I could get things out of my pockets or my bag without having to contort my body in strange and uncomfortable ways. I could play my own music. I could talk on my phone. But maybe most importantly, I could leave right now, on my own schedule, and I could drive directly to where I was going. There would be no overly-loud announcements, the temperature would be just right, and I could actually relax. I never would’ve expected that the beginning of a 6-hour drive, after having already been traveling for 6 hours, could feel like vacation. It did. And let me tell you, it was a great drive home.

All of the things I have complained about here are really small annoyances, but for me on this trip they added up to an incredibly unpleasant experience. I guess I finally reached my limit. I disliked it so much that it actually made me reconsider flying in general. I travel a lot, and it is very easy for me to book a ticket for a distant trip or gig. Generally I hop in the car if it’s within about an 8 hour drive, and I don’t really want to try to drive more, but I certainly don’t want to fly more. I think it’s time to really focus on getting local work, and to try to stay off the airlines as much as I can. I don’t know what has happened to the air travel industry, but I am fairly certain that I’m the one who has to modify my behavior, because the industry isn’t going to change.

There is a new Service Plaza (and maybe several) on the Pennsylvania Turnpike (Hwy 76), and on my recent trip from Pittsburgh to New York I noticed the sign pictured above. Not only is there extra-special parking reserved for “Low-Emitting Fuel-Efficient Vehicles” but it is also right up front, next to the Handicap spaces. I was amazed.

I had heard about preferred parking for hybrid vehicles, but this was the first time I actually got to use it. On the way East I hadn’t noticed it until after I had parked, but on the way back I drove right up to the front and took my place on the “I am so special” throne.

The irony of it in my mind is that when I am on the road I actually prefer to park as far away from the building as possible so that I can get a little walking in and stretch my legs. My first thought was that most people driving super-efficient cars would also welcome the walk, but then I remembered that young, enviro-leaning, wiry , jumpy guys like myself are not the typical Toyota Prius drivers. Regardless, even if it’s just a parking space, I think it’s great to see official recognition that people driving fuel-efficient, low-emission vehicles are doing us all a favor.

My birthday was a few days ago, and it was a great one. I met the 3 Rivers Model A Ford Restorers Club at Kennywood (the local amusement park) early in the morning, and we all drove our antique cars onto the park grounds so that the patrons could see them. We were invited there as a part of Kennywood’s “Celebrate Pittsburgh’s 250th Anniversary” week, so everyone in our cars got in free, and each car got an additional 4 free day passes to use another time. It was a total coincidence that it fell on my birthday, but I couldn’t have planned it better myself.

We were led onto the grounds by a staff member in his car, and it was like our own personal secret parade, since the grounds were still closed and no one was watching. Once we were parked, the club members all took turns watching the cars so that people could get out and enjoy the rides and other things going on in the park. It actually worked out better than I had expected. Some of the older members in the club really just wanted to hang out by the cars anyway, so the younger members were free to go on rides. It was awesome. We had to be back at our cars by 5:00 to exit the park, but if we had wanted to we could have re-entered with a hand stamp.

Kennywood is a great park. It’s not very big, but they have done a fantastic job of packing in the rides. There are a ton of roller coasters in addition to all the other kinds of rides. There are only two steel coasters, all the rest are wood, and can be a little abusive in the way they rattle you around. I now understand why Kennywood is the favorite park of my coaster-enthusiast friend Chris LaReau. He prefers the rides that knock you around, so there is plenty of action for him at Kennywood. My favorites were Ghostwood Estate, a modern day version of the interactive shooting gallery, and the Exterminator, where your car actually plays the role of a mutant rat that scurries around and twists and turns in the dark. Amazing.

On the way home it became painfully clear that I had not yet succeeded in fixing the exhaust leak in the engine of the Model A. Lenore and I both arrived home with Carbon Monoxide headaches and a little nausea, so I vowed that I would not drive the car again until that was fixed. On to another Model A maintenance saga….

My buddy Devin gave me a great tip on getting the head off the block. After draining the water out of the radiator, and disconnecting the water outlet pipe (but before removing the distributor or spark plugs), loosen up all the bolts an 1/8 inch or so, and leave them on the studs. Now start the engine. The pressure from the first cylinder igniting should pop the head loose, and as soon as it’s loose, the engine will die. Now you can remove the spark plugs and the distributor, along with the rest of the nuts. I still had to use some persuasion in the form of a dead-blow mallet to get the head all the way loosened up so I could lift it off.

Also, I don’t have a engine lifting bracket or a winch, so I just put some cloths down (so I wouldn’t scratch the paint), and stood on the frame, straddling the engine. It seemed to work fine, but you have to make sure you have a place to put the head once you get it off. I put down a thick towel in front of the windshield and set the head on it until I could get over to the side of the car and move the head over to my work table for cleaning. It’s pretty heavy, so be careful and don’t hurt your back.

I cleaned off the carbon from the underside of the head and from the tops of the pistons, then used a shop-vac to make sure I had gotten all the funk out of there. One thing you don’t want hanging around in your engine is funk. Make sure that the surface of the head, and the top of the block are perfectly clean and smooth before you put your new gasket on. It is imperative that you do everything you can to get a good seal with the gasket. I used the new premium head gasket from Snyder’s that doesn’t require the spray-on sealant. It looks cool, and I’ve heard good things about it.

Also, be extra careful when tightening the nuts on the water outlet pipe. I’ve been told that they break easily, so I only tightened mine to 45 ft/lbs instead of the recommended 55.

After all my work, I was ready to go out for a drive. I put the key in the ignition… and the car wouldn’t start. You can relieve yourself of the disappointment I felt by setting your timing before you try to start the car. Once I did that, things seemed to work fine. Also, don’t forget to re-torque the head nuts after 500 miles of driving.